So, we’ve all heard the stats.
People are getting married later in life. The average age was 20, now it’s 28.
Divorce rates are now 40-50%.
The number of children living with a single parent due to divorce is 24%.
So, what’s the use in getting married. Because regardless of what you’ve heard marriage still works. We are constantly being told how impossible it is to stay together. People are trained to go in with a defeated mindset. If every marriage starts out with “if we get divorced” then yes… this will be a rough road.
After only 10 years I don’t dare claim to have all the answers but decided to try and write down 5 tips that will help you Stay Married… For Life.
Here We Go:
1. Open & Honest Communication
Before people get married they are generally open to pre marital counseling but once they say “I Do” they shut the doors and keep to themselves. Have regular open and honest conversations with your spouse. The more you talk about your hopes, dreams and struggles the closer you will grow.
2. Decide to Love
Over time there will be hurts and misunderstandings but the best defense against an offended heart is to be ready and willing to forgive immediately. We call this “Deciding to Love.” I may not like the decisions you’re making but I have committed and decided to love you through it.
3. Create Moments
The best relationships refuse to get stale. Create moments (big and little) to remind yourselves of why you fell in love in the first place. Have a variety of small yet meaningful moments in your Married Forever arsenal: Date Nights, Movie Nights, Thursday Nights. Don’t be afraid to have big moments also: Surprise Vacations, 1 Night Stays In-Town. Go for it. They’re worth it.
4. Practice Selflessness
When you have two people trying everyday to out-serve each other there’s no room for selfishness. Do everything in your power to put them first in all that you do and say. Show them more grace, care and compassion than any other person.
5. Recognize the Seasons
Expect your marriage to have seasons, hills, valleys, up’s and downs. Some moments will be your favorite Rom-Com while others may be a bad Lifetime show. Don’t forget every show ends and every season changes. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Learn and grow through the process and enjoy the ride.
6. Bonus Tip – Don’t Get Divorced
The most simple yet effective tip anyone can offer.