You know what they say….
“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”
– Johnny Depp
“If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.”
– President Woodrow Wilson
“Dogs are just the best. I mean, really.”
– Caesar Augustus
OK, I made that last one up (or did I) but we’ve all heard the wonderful things about having a dog.
Well, let’s look at the other side of the coin. Owning a dog isn’t all sunshine and roses. There are good days and bad days. Stuff will get chewed, pee’d on and sometimes just plain ol’ ruined.
After owning my former Jack Russell Terrier for just over 10 years I would like to share with you some of my own personal observations. Here are 5 Reasons You Should Never Own A Dog.
Here We Go:
1. Really Bad Short-Term Memory
A study at Stockholm University discovered that dogs forget an event within two minutes. That’s it! Two minutes!! People (esp. moms) have this terrible habit of remembering everything you’ve ever done wrong for the rest of your life. Some even hold it against you. Dogs, however, have a poor memory. That’s means you can poke them, call their name, and pretend the throw the ball all day long and they’ll fall for it every time. You can also yell at them for something they’ve inevitably done wrong and the next thing you know their right back at your feet like; “Hey, what’s up?” Fine, come here. (You’re cute, or whatever)
2. Suspicious Long-Term Memory
While Fido may not remember that epic game of tug after two minutes turns out he can and will create some pretty impressive (and suspicious) long-term memories. A study from Eötvös Loránd University (did you see those little dots – this just got real) found that dogs could take a mental picture of actions and reproduce those actions and those memories could last for years. He’ll forget a lot but he’ll never forget the connection he share with you. I could tell my Bali to go upstairs, get in the car, or find her leash and she knew exactly what to do. But what else do they remember? I knew I shouldn’t have written down my Hulu password. Suspicious indeed.
3. Ridiculously Loyal
Caesar Millan, famous dog behaviorist, says; “Some people would say dog are loyal just because they depend on us for food and shelter, so they have to be nice to us. But when you see how dogs react when their human friends come back after they’ve been gone for a long time, you know it’s about more than food. Dogs will chase away countless superficial and annoying front door encounters with the creepy solicitor selling frameless window panes or the obviously ill-willed basketball team just trying to get to Washington, D.C. Sitting at home waiting for the “we just cleaned one of your neighbors gutters” man to stop by? Not anymore. Dogs are straight up sticks-in-the-mud and hate the “pop in”. And God help you if you have a doorbell.
4. Won’t Quit Looking At You
So, you just got home from a hard day at work and just want to be left alone. Nope! Here comes Precious. What? You don’t want to play? And then it starts – The Look! Dogs are just the worst. They summon up this look. This pathetic, pitiful, sweet, adorable, heart melting, bottom lip quivering look. The next thing you know you’ve forgotten about your day, are somehow a little less stressed out and are murmuring sweet nothings while asking her “Who’s A Good Girl?!?” Ugh. Not fair. I was enjoying my pity party and you ruined it. You just went and ruined it. Researchers have found that dogs who stare at their people release the same hormone produced in the brain that is associated with the nurturing and attachment that bolsters bonding between parent and child. So much for some quiet time.
5. Strange Movements
Dogs have strange and sometimes unnatural movements. Have you ever seen that thing they do when someone rubs their ears or scratches their neck? They lean in to your hand, roll back their eyes and let out a long sigh or groan. Who’s got time for that? Here we are trying to live our normal touch free lives and they walk up, flop on the ground and show us their bellies. If I behaved like that I’d be packed up and sent off too Bellevue. But not dogs. One regrettable scratch in just the right spot and their legs start doing that weird “I’ve got to get this mysterious itch RIGHT NOW!” thing and you do it again because it’s hysterical and they seem just as perplex by it as you are. And that neck bend – I can watch that all day. It’s strange I tell you.
6. Bonus Tip – You’ll Never Have A Cat
The most simple fact I can offer.